535-03 Page 135rvfly is the crnc»dile said to be the most
deoclt,fnl of founnals? Because its rounten-
or% 'moat open when it's taking one i
in. »
What did Adore and Eve rto after being
espolled From the harden of Eden? Thoy
raised Cain. » ^l,
Rw x »»
What is the difierenee between yon
lady•and an old heat? Merely a di fferueng
ce
it time. one has feeling and the other
Pas felt. ««
What grows the lees tared the more it
it v.crked? A carrp»ge wheel.
k'!-,y is a watch -dog larger at night than
in tt; morning'? Because ne is let nut at
nlgl:j and taken in et the morning.
Why are washer -women the most ire nsls
tent of persons? Because !hev pus rut.
tubs to catch soft water whrat it r; Min-
ing "hard."
Why is ',hot cake like a vateipillar?
Because ,t is the grub that make, iha but-
ter -fly. «« R«
What is t'iat which sidons svwryene
but those who swalloay it? Pl;a.ttcvy.
What. is the difference between a few
and a lawyer. The, one gets his law fr,"m
the prophets; the other gets his f1 ofita
tram the law. « ��
'Why is it almost certain that Shak-s-
pes.re wlis a money-brolmi? Because no man
},as furnished so many stock cli al. one.
W'hv is there reason to doubt the Giant's
Causeway? There are sa mans Sham-
rocks in Ireland, that this may be one of
them.
What is it ru abold keep after giving
it to another. Your word.«
Why is a washerwoman like a naviga-
tor? Because she spreads her sheeta, crosses
the lines ands goes from pole to pule.
What is the most dangerous kind of an
assassin? The mail who takes life cheer-
fully.
RR
What hind «of Sweetmeats did they have
in the Ark? Preserved pairs (pears).
What requires more philosophy than
taking things as they come".' Putting with
things as they go.
What is tl,e»m, .. «�- - in the long
rim? B:
M1\'hot dr sla man weigh twenty hundred
pounds? When be is a simple -lion.
R» ..
In wliat ppart of the church do they ring
the bells (bel4es)? At the altar.
Wily shenld it perfumer be«n good editor?
Because he mattes elegant extracts.
When can it be said that «a bed is not
a bed? When it is it little buggy.
How do RirIs ,allow their dislike to moms
taches? By setting their faces against
them. »
Whom is a ship said to be, in love? When
She is tender to a man -of -wank
Why is the OR file mast wonderful aid -
mitt in the barn -yard Because it is first
'killed and them cured. «»
Why is a kiss like a rumor? Because it
passes from mouth to mouth.
1— I CONNUNDRUMS,
491
_: ai l'liliida of Unit y Supp1
.. .... munill o/ .... ..... .
M..........
'I'U. I ... , . .
iv.I......
.
What three letters turn a girl into&
woman? —Ago.
Why fo a defcaLed army liko wool? --Bo
,,use it's w^rated.
When is a soldier not be -
when lie', in quarters.
Nhy is life like this rfddle?—Because you
most
give it up. ,—
What do ws often e,teh but never sec,
A sawing remark.
I \%here can hoppinoes always be In the the d ctioary,
what is tine largest room io the world?—
Tie room for improvement.
',Vhy ie a kW like ryurwl—Because it
goes from mouth to mouth,
Which is :Ise way to risks a coat last? —
Make the t:st and trousers first,
Nhes is money damp?—\Vhen it's due is
the morning and mfeeed at night.
k
hlNre gore
lcn!
yet
�,ivo—. .p,
is e
I' U
Y
W
..
-- -- MATdEMATICAL PUZZLE.
The Fat of the Land. —
- : OF CANDIES.
i
seam'> One Pound ,'I-''o sugar, 3
"•spoons vinegar, 1 _,,icslwon ex-
it lemon, 1 teasiv,..0 cream tartar.
i just enough ., a[ee to moisten the
,gar and bcl' .nth brittle, being care-
eu, not to our it while boiling. Turn
out on butt_red plates and when coal
pull uutll white and cut in squares.
Hickory Nut; Boil 2 cups sugar with
]Is cupful water, without stirring, until
thick enough to hold together when
dropped from a spoon. Flavor with
vaniila. Turn Into a dish and set Sit
cold water, beating until white. Add 1
teacup •hlcknrya1"4 it a,ts and turn Into
buttered - tins. When cool cut into
small squares.
Chocolate Caramels: Two cup molas-
sea, 1 cup 'brown sugar, 1 cup cream, %
Ill chocolate and a piece of butter size
of an egg. Beat all together, boll until
it thickens when dropped in cold water,
and turn into battered tine. When
nearly coled, cut into ,squares or dia-
monds.
Honey: One pint white sugar In wa-
ter enough to moisten it, 4 tablespoons
honey. Boll until it becomes brittle
when dropped in cold water; add 1 tea-
spoon le?non extract, and.turn Into but-..
tered plates. When cool, pull.
Butter Scotch: Two cups Sugar. 2 ta-
blespoons water, butter size of an egg.:
_
Boll without stirring, unIt hardens
til
on a spoon. Pour on buttered plates to
cool. —IL- M. Amiable.
REAL 0040D.
Raised Pork Pier About 2- lbs'
of fresh Pork (the thick part
of the neck does or any scraps
trimmed off when cutting up for pack-
ing on a farm, or can be obtained from
a butcher or packer for a trifle), 2 Ibe
flour, ill of lard rubbed Into the flour,
a good teaspoon salt, take 'A teacup
boiling water, stir Into the flour with
a span, then work With the hand to. a
smooth dough. Some flour may need a
little more water. Mould the Peace into
a basin or tin, taking care there are
no cracks In the prate. When it is rats,
ed to the required blglut, cut the re-
malnder straight off and put aside for
the fro. Cut the meat into small piecre
Season with pepper and saltt and a lit-
tle nutmeg. Put a cover of paste neat-
M11 _ 'v "e, top, make a hole In It, or -
]eaves and scrolls cut
L y and bake a nice brown
ca iM-.c.,uy "}tot too hot oven. It Is a
;co-6, Ian to pin a piece of letter paper
round the pie when first put 1n the oven.
[Fanny J. Lowe.
Breakfast or Toa. Cockles: Two
Here is a little story clipped from an ex-
change which embodies a curious mathemati-
cal Paz,
uz do and an infallible way in which to
seoertain the age of anybody who is inclined
to be reticent upon the subject: —
Coe day these came to the court of a king pplied for.
a grey -hatred professor, who shoal the king
greatly. He told the monarch a number of
things that he never knew before, and the
king was delighted. But finally it came to
the point when the ruler wanted to know
the age of the professor, w he thought of a
•mathematical problem. -
"Ahem I" said the king. "I have an
interesting sum for you ; it to a trial in men-
tal arithmetic. Think of the number of the _
month of your birth." ..(,.
Now, the professor wait 60 years old and
had been bolo two dayys before Christmas,,
so he thought of 12, Dcoombor being the
twelfth month.
" Yes," said the professor.
" Multiply it by two," continued the king.
„Yet„
" Add five"
"yes," said the professor, doing an,
" Now multiply that by ft0."
" Yee."
" Add your age."
„ Yee."
" Subtract W" '
" Yes."
Add 116."
" Yea."
" And now," said the king, " might I ask
what the result is? "
"Twelve hundred end sixty," replied the
professor, wonderingly.
11 Thank you," was the king's response.
ci So 'you were born in December, 60 years
ago?'
" Why, how in the world do you know?"
cried the professor.
eggs, 2 helping cups sugar, I cup
shortening (butter and lard), 2-3 cup
butermilk, 1 teaspoon soda and a little
salt. Beat all together tboroughly.
Mix rather stiff. roll thin and bake In
a quick oven. —[Mrs. S. M. Stotenbur.
Poor Man-9 Rolled Jell Cake!
Two eggs, 'Fa cup sugar, 1 heapdmg
teaspoon baking p cwlier, flour to make
a thin batter. When baked cover with
jelly and roll the shorter way.-*Tfild
coke will keep moist and nice wo or
three wake in a cool place, --Mrs. t S. M.
Stotenbur.
Cottage Pudding: one cup milk,
;¢ cup sugar, 1 egg, 2 tablespoons melt-
ed butter, I 'teaspoon baking powder
sifted with 1 pint floor. Mix well to-
gether. Bake half an hour In moderate'
oven. Serve with liquid sauce.—[R. R.
Lemon Pie: Line a plate as
for custard, 'grate the. rind and
press out the Juice of 1 lamum,
a,dlQ 1'cum water, set on to boil. Stir"rk
cup sugar and 1 heaping' teaspoon'COM-
eltardti together, let it boil up 'till tb3c8
as jelly (if not stiff enough tee more
starch). Remove from stove and stir
in the yolks, of two eggs bealten, put In
crust and bake.When done spread the
whites of 2 eggs and 2 tabispnons sugar.
beaten stiff, put in oven to brown
—Bread Spongy: Boil six potlatoee, and
mash tine while hot; work 2 tablespoons
of la d 2 of sugar Into the potatoes;
end at water in gradually. -Wa-
"Why," retorted the king, "from your
answer-1,260. The month of your birth
was the twelfth, and the last two figures
give your age."
" Ha I he I he I " laughed the professor,
"Capital idea! I'll try it on the next carp,
It's a polite way of finding
WORDS OF PUZZLES,
The following funny puzzles in spelling
and pronunciation may amuse some of
our readers :—
There is one word of only five letters,
and if you take away two of them, ten will
remain. What word is that?
It is often. If you take away of,, ten will
remain.
There is a word of five letters, and if you
take away two of them six will remain.
What is it ?
Sixty. 'fake away ty, six will remain.
Take away my first letter, take away
my second letter, take away all my letters
and I am the same. Can you guess that?
It is mail -carrier.
There is a word which if you change the
place of one of the letters, means exactly
opposite from what it did at first. What
is the word?
It is united. Place the i after the i and
it becomes untied.
Can you tell me what letter it is that has
never been used but twice in America,
Itis a —it is only used twice in America.
Can you tell me when there were only
two vowels?
It was in the days of Noah before you
and 4 were born —in the days of no a be-
fore u and i were born.
What is a word of one syllable, which if
you take away two letters from it, will be-
come a word of two syllables ?
It is plague ; take away pl and it be-
comes ague.
FEET have they, but they walk not—
atoves.
Eyes have they but they see not—po-
Beat In 3 cups flour. then 1 cup yeast,
tattles.
and I level teaspoon soda.. Cover close>
ly, ,and let It stand ^all night to rise.—
Teeth have the but they chew not—
Y' �'
�4�
[-A�/%)•iolesome kit: Hera is a'slm-
saws.
Noses have they, but they smell not—
PIe ;� children's lunch has-
teapots.
kefe:"O cupM sugar, biid 1 rounded
Mouths have they, but they taste not—
tritspoon butter, r- is 1
egg beaten In �_I
rivers.
Hands have they, but they handle *^'
fined up v sh prefer-
Cred; 2 cum. plug tea-
clocks.
Ears have they, but they he
I spoon baking e., drops lem-
on or vanilla. To .e flavoring,
cornstalks.
Tongues have they, but they tal-
add 1 tablespoon grated chacolate,•,aand
wagons. —Garden Days.
1 of sugar, or a teaspoon"cinnamon, or
-- -
a tablespoon cocoanut or hay not ker-
,,nels..—I. u. M. F.